Under a different thread, I wrote about letting loose with my DSO and blasting him with weeks of pent up anger. Felt horrible afterwards. Told him twice that perhaps its time we stop texting and just say good bye. He totally ignored that, and just said he'd text tomorrow, which he did. I decided the other day that it was time for us to end our "on hold" relationship once and for all and end our contact. I was planning on doing that when he texted me that night (after an hour of listening to my mother telling me that would be cruel and make him worse), and was firm in my decision. He ended up texting me early afternoon, just a short text, but it was his way of trying to explain where his head is, and also his way of asking that I not give up on him yet. Obviously, it changed my mind and I didn't break up with him.
We had been texting back & forth, and I finally realized a few things. If I keep the conversation happy & casual, he seems to start opening up (he opened up a little more today). He was explaining about his rut and mentioned something about time healing all wounds. I stuck a little thorn in him 😔, telling him time does not always heal...and absence doesn't always make the heart grow fonder (I really didn't mean to stick that thorn with malice, but just saying what was on my mind). As I sat and thought a little, I realized what he was trying to say (in words he cannot yet directly express), and I realized how hard he is trying to keep this relationship from falling apart totally. Must have taken a lot of effort for him to voice what few words he did express. (I did not see things this way before...but trying to place myself in his shoes.). So, I sent him a short text, just saying that he is really putting forth effort, his efforts have not gone un-noticed, and I just wanted to say Thanks. From what emotion you can gather via text, he sounded very relieved and, dare I say it, happy. Maybe I am actually starting to understand this D a little more. I'm not trying to preach to him, or telling him what I THINK he should do...it just seemed like a simple "thanks for trying" made a world of difference to him.
WrongWay, since you have the understand of what the DBF goes thru, was this a good thing to tell him? Or am I just trying to see what I want to see?
We had been texting back & forth, and I finally realized a few things. If I keep the conversation happy & casual, he seems to start opening up (he opened up a little more today). He was explaining about his rut and mentioned something about time healing all wounds. I stuck a little thorn in him 😔, telling him time does not always heal...and absence doesn't always make the heart grow fonder (I really didn't mean to stick that thorn with malice, but just saying what was on my mind). As I sat and thought a little, I realized what he was trying to say (in words he cannot yet directly express), and I realized how hard he is trying to keep this relationship from falling apart totally. Must have taken a lot of effort for him to voice what few words he did express. (I did not see things this way before...but trying to place myself in his shoes.). So, I sent him a short text, just saying that he is really putting forth effort, his efforts have not gone un-noticed, and I just wanted to say Thanks. From what emotion you can gather via text, he sounded very relieved and, dare I say it, happy. Maybe I am actually starting to understand this D a little more. I'm not trying to preach to him, or telling him what I THINK he should do...it just seemed like a simple "thanks for trying" made a world of difference to him.
WrongWay, since you have the understand of what the DBF goes thru, was this a good thing to tell him? Or am I just trying to see what I want to see?




