what a long way to get to this point:o The divorce was a year ago dec. 21. I have no more loving thoughts towards my ex, dont even ponder the what ifs, remember the good times (that were years ago). The more time i spend in this healthy relationship that i am in, am loved, and cared for, the more i see that i knew long ago things were bad, that i felt unloved and everyday was a battle..that i just hoped things would get better and my xdh would be more like his old self..looking back i know exactly when the trouble started and it had been since our youngest turned 3 that xdh first moved to work outta state, trouble had begun and the marriage was strained then, he just couldn't handle life and the responsiblity or joy of marriage and family..i can finally not be scared to come home, not walk on eggshells. the only difficulty i still see in myself is accepting that i have to hard of a time trusting. My x lied over and over about everything and it is hard to finally belive that in this new relationship that isn't gonna happen. I am trying to accept that i can have a good relationship with someone who actually wants to be with me, finds me interesting, etc. xdh was not exactly full of compliments the past several years, no matter how hard i tried to do and be everything he said he wanted and he always had anger bubbling at the surface. I am learning..thanks