I'm surviving, hanging in there, whatever you want to call..still riding my dh emotional rollercoaster, as well as my own. I am only starting out with 20 mg of lexapro-i dont honestly think it is enough, but thats what i'm doing. I have moments of fairly good, followed by deep dark dispair-dont think i'm under control yet. Over the weekend i made myself get out with the kids and do a million things, guess sort of make up for being that horrible mom i feel i've been lately, movies, lunches, etc, spoiled them like cazy, kept them running all around town from friday afternoon, till sunday mid morning..it was very difficult to keep it going. I did ok friday, but as the weekend progressed i noticed that by saturday i was really outta steam, and by sat night, sunday morning, i didn't want to do it anymore, the effort was just to great. The kids really enjoyed everything and for a brief weekend they had the old mom that they deserved and were used to. I haven't done well since, just dragging and asking myself many times a day why am i bothering. I am going thru the motions. I make a point to hug and hold my children, tell them i love them every day, hold them to me on the sofa or in my bed, but its more for them than me-i am making myself do it and the hardest part is that there are times it is a huge effort to do this, maybe not that i dont feel anything for them, just that i dont want to reallly be around them at the time. I'm trying not to be distance and approaching everything thinking instead of emotionally. I'm just screwed i guess.