Cyn -

Try to separate yourself from your thoughts and your emotions. Be a quiet observer, not taking ownership of them. Be "curious" of the mystery contained in them. Let them unfold and see what they have to say. Maybe they are saying that what is going on in your life or how you are going about your life is not in agreement with you your inner being, your soul. Maybe these thoughts and emotions are only to flow through you and not meant to take up residence in you. Maybe your depression is your soul grieving from what you have held dearly in your past and now has changed. See this as an inner space that is being cleared inside you, the void you are filling so that you may begin a new birth and start a spiritual growth pattern.

Also, if five or so weeks past and the Lexapro @ 20mgs does not seem to be working then it maybe be time to up it and/or add another medication. Check with your doctor first though. Although much insight can be gained from depression it also at times become an out and out illness onto itself.

Take care,
daml