Thank you Jules, your answer helped a little to order my thoughts. I am not sure what is worse writing to him and having no reply at all, or not writing at all but then having the feeling I am giving up on him. All I know is I love him and I also know something has to change otherwise I will be very sick too. Sometimes I just don't get into my head that the closest people for them are now those who they put aside the most. if you know what I mean. Maybe it is true, he doesn't want to hurt me but just cannot be in touch yet. He has always been a very good person and this situation is just not at all like him...
Well, all I wanted to say is Thanks for your help and answer.