Thanks, Lisa. Yes, I guess it is about not feeling connected - this is just one of the ways that it's hard for me to not feel connected. We are finding new ways to connect now (more on that later) - sometimes, I'm already making the change when I vent about it, but don't always recognize it. Sigh... can be confusing sometimes... thanks so much for your input.

I admit part of the grief I've felt is because I've felt the life (as we discussed & dreamed it to be "when we're married" - we just had one year anniversary this month) we were to have has been ripped out from under me and it made me angry. Just ask my dH. :rolleyes

So, yes, at times, my anger & frustration certainly made the situation worse - and I'm sure, wasn't easy for dH either. As I've been working on that issue myself these last several weeks & he's been on BuSpar for anxiety (since March), things have steadily been improving, with little setbacks here and there. My dH has a wife that has a tendency to over-react a bit when it "appears" to me he's depressed again. Alas, then there's also the male/female communication issue...

...but, I recently found a book that is giving me a whole new perspective on how men think. To be honest, I guess he thought I knew most of this already, but frankly, a lot of it stunned me. In any case, it's helping me understand some differences that perhaps were never related to depression in the first place. This, in turn, is part of what has been changing my expectations - as having a place to vent (instead of dH) helps as well.

But, there are some days that are harder than others - even without D, of course that's true...

I did have a lot *corked* that I've needed to release and am SO thankful to have found this board as a place I can get some of that out & be understood and supported. It has been part of what is making home - "good to be home" again for both of us. :)