Interesting.

I'm new to Board-

My DH said this and I was in complete and utter shock. After 12 years of an incredible marriage (yes- we had problem points here and there- every good marriage does!) but we cared and shared equally with each other. I did NOT give him more than he gave me. He did NOT give me more than I gave him. We gave equally and willingly.

The "Don't Care to share my everyday happenings, dreams, experiences" part of the definition does not apply to my marriage. We called each other and emailed OFTEN during each day to fill each other in on my/his success at work; the cute comments made by our children at drop-off; to make plans for our date nights; to fill each other in on the renovation project and how exciting the project was to watch unfold, etc., etc, etc. We embarked on a very expensive renovation project a year ago and my DH was very excited to build our 'dream' together. he designed it exactly to his specifications and we didn't have one single argument before, during or after the project!

"The I don't care to give presents" part of the definition is interesting too- In our marriage my DH (without my asking ever) went out of his way to wash my windshield with a special solution to make sure I could see clearly on the road; bought us matching Saabs so we could experience the same thing and be 'twins"; bought us matching IPODS (I am not a techno person so i never asked for this but appreciated it once he gave it to me); worked carefully to design our new master shower with two shower heads and enough room for the both of us to fit at the same time; he designed our walkin master closets with such detail so that we would each have the amount of space we needed (something I never asked for but certainly appreciated, especially after it was done and I was using it). The "not excited about being with her at end of day" part of definition is also interesting because my husband would call even if he was running just a minute late and tell me he might be slightly late and that he couldn't wait to see me and the kids. He enjoyed the 'leftovers' i kept for hima nd he loved putting the kis to sleep and then sitting with me and laughing at our favorite sitcoms. He said that he loves coming home and seeing the lights on and knowing we were waiting for him. He said he loved parking his care in the garage right next to mine because he knew I made enough space there to park for him; He would tell me what was on his mind often as he was working thru something; if he bought a Brooks Brothers shirt for himself he always bought one for me too and would call me to make sure he got teh right size (of course I never asked for it and thought it was sweet and considerate) etc. etc. All of these little things illustrate how someone cherishes you and counts on you and considers you- they all help you to grow more deeply. They illustrate how someone knows you. That's what 'soul-mating' is.

"Soul-mate' means having a partnership with your partner in every way, emotionally, psychologically, physically, financially and familialy.

Afterall, it is all in how we decide to look at life. We can make a 'heaven of hell' or a 'hell of heaven' depending on how we decide to look at life and our partners. in my case it seems like D has made a hell out of heaven- truly a tragedy. It's as if my DH has been hypnotized or we have been struck with the evil eye.