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This message board is for the friends and families of people who suffer from a mood disorder.
It is associated with Anne Sheffield and her web site
www.depressionfallout.com
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From a Depression Sufferer's Point of View
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"Not in-love defined
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Re: "Not in-love defined
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Lisalonewolf
hard to say about when it started...
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Feb 5 06 3:25 PM
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But, would say it would have been the early nineties. I had struggled with situational depression...but, when the situation was over, the stressor gone, life was good again. Even midterm and finals in college didn't phase me then.
I was a very, Very Happy single woman in the mid 80's, even without any real decent music out there, sigh...we had bought a house, Dad and I, in the late eighties, and were doing things with it...making it a home I suppose you could call it...
I was still trying to find my 'niche', go to school, work, chase the pets around the yard...let's see, a german shepherd, two cats, two birds, ummmm, and a foster dog occassionally. Went out with friends, dates, etc.
At any rate...got together in 90 with ex, married in 91, bad bad mistake...and did a fast downhill spiral...knew it, and bitched about it enough so everyone knew it...but, still could maintain a semblence of normalcy away from home...and wanted to stay away more and more.
During this time I learned all sorts of things, even if I couldn't use them at the time, they were all stored away in a brain cell somewhere...and, once out of there, now I can use those experiences to help me further my growth.
The ups and downs of my marriage and last relationship taught me a lot...and I realize I am a reactionary to relationships, in that, when I allow the control out of my hands, and let another take control, I am a resentful bietch...who false into some dark pit, who hates herself for being so weak, etc. It is a vicious cycle...have some measure of self esteem, lose some feeling of 'control' or say in ones life, get down, being down gives the other person more control, etc. so I get even more down.
So, what has this taught me...never give up ones needs for another, at least not long term...never let things go when they mean as much to me as they do to them...and just don't take @#%$ anymore. Confront, and confrontation doesn't have to be a bad thing, the things that bug me.
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