Several of the posters on this site that are experiencing d within themselves have given me valuable insight into what my dbf is or may be experiencing...but by far your post spoke directly to me. I must thank you profusely for sharing your story and your experiences because that must have taken some courage...I hope that you know how much your post will help me and others here to understand a bit more what the "fog" is like and why things happen the way they do.

In particular -- your comments about how when a depressive episode passes it seems like it was imaginary -- making you able to believe that you don't suffer from depression -- I think these hit me hardest. My dbf is so deeply in denial about his depression -- but when he has an episode his depression is SO OVERT...I have been left wondering HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THIS?

Thank you so much for sharing that with me. It makes that so much more understandable to me, because this is quite possibly what is happening to him

I also think the cyclical-ness you speak about, the boredom, the anger directed inward that becomes the default emotion -- are you my dbf??? LOL -- I know you aren't -- but when I read your post I had an impulse to forward it to him via email immediately. I did print it out, and perhaps someday if he is willing to start considering the possibility that he is d, I can ask him to read what you've written and ask him how much he identifies with. I think in an open and honest state of mind, it would be like looking into a mirror for him.

Thank you -- and love to ya for sharing your story.