Blenn:

Thank you for being so brutally honest with me. I had hoped for a different answer in that you ARE aware that you're hurting us but can't seem to make the connection emotionally to help us through the anguish and pain when we lose a loved one or when faced with some other major upheaval in our lives. As Fallouts we condition ourselves not to go to you for the daily stuff of life as you find it too mundane, borish or overwhelming, thus retreating even further. So we wait until it's the "big stuff" ... the real meat 'n potatoes of life ... that we had secretly hoped would find you finally stepping up and helping us through this terrible time. We learned to leave you alone for days, weeks, months and even years so that you could gather your strength for that time when WE need YOU! For the ONE time when we asked for your help during a major trauma that didn't revolve around your self-involved a**, that you might actually go into your storage bin, pull out the ol' mask and cape, don your Big Boy Panties and disguise yourself as a living, breathing, real-life human being just so you can finally do something for us when we need you the most...

And we wait. And wait. And wait....

But, I suppose this "reasoning" in your mind that you really are doing the best to your ability is why depressives seem to have no clue as to why their SO's finally detach and (maybe) ultimately leave them.

My DBF claims that guilt is a wasted, useless emotion. Well, based on that ridiculous theory it's no wonder he could allow me to stay in our relationship ... all the while witnessing and participating in my physical, mental and emotional pain by not leaving him until he was damn sure I had nothing left to give to him. It's a guilt-free pleasure! Sort of like non-fat ice cream, but different. MUCH different.

I go back to my original post: Shame! SHAME ON HIM!!