Hello Traveler...

Quote:
My DXBF loves to beat himself up emotionally and call himself a "terrible" boyfriend... ...But what IS the best course for the fallout victim?


In this case, we're talking about a Depressed EX-boyfriend, right?

Perhaps you are continuing to try to create something where there isn't anything, and there is no course of action that is open to you. In fact, your current actions may be exacerbating the problem.

All this presumes he is still your EX BF, as stated at the top...

But if he is EX, your continued efforts to involve him in your life -- even if it's strictly business, altruistic, or because you need something -- might these efforts be confusing to him? YOu are giving him reasons to beat himself up, because he is not going to respond the way you want him to, yet you continue to engage and hope that he does. He fails, again. More Depression reinforced.

Is he your EX or no? I must be missing something, but it seems like even your nice thoughts and gestures toward him are really just kicking the antbed and stirring things up.

Let an EX be an EX.

Best... Red.