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This message board is for the friends and families of people who suffer from a mood disorder.
It is associated with Anne Sheffield and her web site
www.depressionfallout.com
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From a Depression Sufferer's Point of View
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Want to know what depression is like? - Part I
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Re: Want to know what depression is like? - Part I
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redirector
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Jan 7 06 11:17 AM
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Welcome. Thank you for sharing your sad story.
"I can tell you its been difficult on my my DH or SO... hubby.. I know he struggles with helping me in the best ways he knows how.. which most days I am not even sure how he can help me.. But I try to find ways the best ways he can reach me.. He feels guilty he cannot help me and that he feels helpless. and that he cannot come to me when he is in need.."
Your husband cannot help you. But he could hurt himself even more if he continues to believe that he can help you, or if you rely on him without any professional guidance and treatment. Perhaps you should tell your him about the Depression Fallout board. Sounds like he could benefit from it. That would be helpful, and alleviate some of your guilt.
"The entire weight of the world rests on my shoulder....... I am the peacemaker....... the one who cries for all the hungry children in the world.."
You might consider narrowing your focus just a bit, perhaps to something that is within your area of responsibility (ie, the relationship with your Hubby). There are good people working on the whole World Hunger thing. D's need to help themselves before attempting such heavy weights.
"Then there are other variables??? children..... How do you make them feel loved.. when you feel you have no love to give?? Its not that I do not care....... I care more than anyone I know... I care TOO MUCH"
Passion is good. When it is the dominant feeling you have, however, it distorts reality. I trust you have a psychotherapist who can help unravel the false reality you are experiencing. And a good prescription, I hope.
"I know my DH he hangs on.... He hangs on to those small minute moments when things are okay.. A happy moment when I laugh, grin... a hug.... that makes life with me worth living... and for him I guess its enough.... Thats what he tells me.. For me being on the other end I wonder how...!!! what is so very special about me...... must be a heck of a smile or laugh i have !!! he says I have an aura.. even when I am deeply depressed......"
Don't count on either his feedback or your interpretation of his feedback while you are D. He may say its enough, and that might be true for now, but it will not always be the case. It's possible he may be giving you pleasantries because he is afraid real feedback would devastate you even more, or cause fights. You need to address this before its too late, before you believe your Depressed Aura is enough to save your marriage. It's not. You are lucky to have this man -- for now.
For more on this, ask Blennidae. He will tell you the truth about this.
FlyGirl23: IF your focus is not on your children, but on the Hungry Children of the world; If it is not on your husband but on the burdens of the rest of the world; And if you have a husband who continues to find nice things to say about you even while you are D and you are focused on everything but him; THEN you need to run, not walk, to your P-Doc and continue with an aggressive treatment and recovery plan. You are on unsustainable footing and are at risk for losing everything you now have.
Best of luck.
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