I've watched depression with my wife and my mother. Both were/are substance abusers. Both went through detox in the hospital. With almost forty years as an observer and caretaker, I've had a grandstand seat on things that were terrible to behold and live through. I can see what caused the depression and have a pretty good idea why they used substances beyond social or medical uses.

With my mother, a terrible pregnancy, the loss of a business and a house fire were the triggers. Her drinking numbed both the physical and emotional pain. Everything going her way and then burdens that crushed a very strong and independent woman. God knows what was going through her mind while she tried to cope. She turned to alcohol.

With my wife, an overbearing, jealous father, numerous health problems and the inability to have children were the triggers. I sometimes think her mother was a part. She always confided with my wife about how horrible her life with my father-in-law was; even at a young age.(even today; over ten years after his death) These burdens were overwhelming. She turned to prescription medications.

With both, I could see the depth of the despair they were feeliing. Their emotions were horrible reactions to the despair and the "medication" allowed them to forget; even if it was for a short period of time. When any clarity of thought returned, they wanted to medicate again. What was most disconcerting was the knowledge the substance they were turning to was slowly killing them. I think they knew and welcomed the outcome. It was a horrible train wreck in slow motion. Neither ever seemed to find relief or happiness with their medications. Neither ever really seemed to get a boost to their self-esteem. They only lost their inhibitions. Their emotions were accentuated and sometimes dreadful.