I'm going from hurt to anger to indifference and back again. I can't get his words out of my head - how he summed up our 17-year relationship as having nothing in common anymore because we don't do the same things that we did when we first met, like the bar scene, drinking, sex - as if that's the only thing we've had all these years. We haven't hung out in bars in years because neither one of us wanted to. All the things we loved to do together - shopping, antiquing, travelling, finding new restaurants, discovering great wines, music, history, etc.....everything seems to be wiped from his mind. I know that this is D talking, but it still hurts. Sometimes I feel like just writing him a letter spilling all this out to him, but I know deep down that this wouldn't be a good idea - it probably wouldn't even strike a chord with him in his present state.

I should be used to being alone every weekend - for the past year or so, we've only seen each other sporadically, so I can't believe I'm feeling so abandoned. It's been a slow downward spiral and maybe I should just feel relief. Silly, isn't it? Okay, I have vented enough.