DAML:

Please forgive me for asking yet more questions of you, but as a Fallout I am quite versed on our "windows" of opportunity we are given when our DSO's are feeling open enough to express themselves, so I wanted to take advantage of this moment and pry it open again by asking you some things that may pertain to all here...

You wrote about your memories and how they are all but gone; your wife's heartache and fear being around you; your uninvolvement and lack of caring as a father and husband; the dissipation of human touch and intimacy

You know these things as you are able to write them here today. How are we to believe that you don't know them at the time? How can we trust that you are not fully aware of the anguish you cause when you clearly are aware when you are not in a "depressive state".

Help us better understand. Are you really a zombie and devout of any real emotion and, if so, how can you have it now and feel empathy and guilt for treating your family like this constantly?

Why would you not seek help earlier? Were you secretly hoping your family would leave you just as you had predicted thus giving you more reason to be more miserable? At any time, did you want your wife to move on to another man and seek happiness elsewhere with your daughter? If so, why did you not let go? Why did you have her stay miserable with you knowing she would not choose to leave you during your illness. Do you respect her decision? Do you love her? Do you FEEL love for your daughter?

Thank you for letting me get those out. If you feel so inclined, please respond. If not today, then maybe another time when you are able.

Much appreciated

xx