I really appreciate the honesty of your thoughts and answers to our questions. As livs said, we can intellectually grasp what you experience with D, but we have a difficult time 'getting' it.

You stated that when depressed, you secretly wish your wife would leave you because you believe she'd be better off. As a follow-up to that - if she had left, would you have then felt remorse or regret? Would you have felt anger toward her and blamed her for not staying by your side. Would it have made your D deeper, or fueled something else?

Also, if she had left, do you think you would have pursued therapy and meds?

Your wife is a devoted and strong woman. Kudos to you for the work you are doing to preserve and grow your relationship.

Thanks so much