Thank you, DAML, for your clarity, conciseness and your candor.

Oddly, so much of what you have said I have been told before by my DSO when he is well. I am reminded that the nature of "therapy" is not what is said, so much as "who" is saying it. We "hear" things so much better when they don't come through a filter of attachment and investiture in what is being said and by whom.

I remember saying things to my partner for months that he just could not "hear" as anything but criticism and judgement, only to have our therapist say it to him once, and all the lights would come on. And the same of course in reverse.

The value of detached insights and reasoning in here is much the same. I dont know you, I am not attached to what you think of what I am about to say, so I may say it clearly and without hesitation. Undoubtedly the same is true for you. I can totally see why your wife might have been just floored by your words when you gave her that post and what a wonderful thing to have done! May this place continue to serve you with healthy tools and thank you again for your huge contributions to the collective tool box!

Be well,
bgb