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This message board is for the friends and families of people who suffer from a mood disorder.
It is associated with Anne Sheffield and her web site
www.depressionfallout.com
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Far-Fetched but could this be a side affect?
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Re: Far-Fetched but could this be a side affect?
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Hope2007
Re: Far-Fetched but could this be a side affect?
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Dec 10 07 5:20 PM
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Epona - you are not being nasty at all. I come to this board and post because I want to hear truths. If I am way off base on something, I would hope that based on other people's experiences, I will get some good advice. I don't even want everyone to agree with me and "coddle" me. You are right, maybe I am falling into the Fallout again...I look for signs of hope from him, oh maybe he is showing this anger because he really cares for me...otherwise, why would he bother? I know this myself. Yes, I think that he has had alot resentment and anger inside of him for a long time about certain things. he claims that he has done everything for ME. The house, the nice things, the jobs, etc. Here I thought that we were doing it for us and our family. So now, he has gone to the other end of the spectrum and I am the focus of why he did what he did and its all my fault because I didn't appreciate it?
SPO - do I love him? Yes, will always love him. I just don't like him as a person. Here is another for instance:
He just called me to ask what happen last week between my 10 yr old daughter and her bestfriend. They had a fallout where my daughter's best friend started making fun of her on the bus, the next day my daughter told the "cute" boy in the class that her friend liked him, friend was embarassed, etc. O.k. - typical 10-yr old girl things. One minute they fight, the next they hate each other over something silly. Anyways, he just ran into the other girls mother and she mentioned that the girls had gotten into a spat last week. DH didn't know about it, not a big deal. So he called me to find out what had happen. I told him, didn't make a big deal about it. He says that he felt like telling the other mom that the girls should just stay away from each other from now on (they have been best friends since Kindergarten). I said "why would you say that? They are girls who have been buddies for 5 years, they go thru this all the time". He replies:
"well, it would be easier for me".
I said:
"what do you mean easier for you?"
DH:
"it would just be easier for me with A (our daughter) when its time to come to my house".
Our oldest has been having a hard time with this and never wants to go to his house because she wants to be with me and her neighborhood friends which includes her best friend.
So - he is looking at HIM and how it would be easier for HIM if they weren't friends. All I said was "you are a piece of work". We hung up.
Do I want the divorce? No. But nor do I want to be with who this person has become. Does he want the divorce? Not sure, I would say no since he has been dragging his feet, but nor is he trying and he keeps throwing nasty things out at me lately. Such as "no skin off my back" with my request that we move the date up to January.
Jess made a great point in one of his posts, about realizing and having the power to do something - when is it time to make a decision. I have made the decision that I don't want to be treated this way. Depression or not. I can not continue to be his verbal punching bag for sins I did not commit. I would give everything to have the man I married back...I pray every day, but thus far, its same old. As a matter of fact, DH goes out of his way to show my how much he DOESN'T care.
SPO - the bimbo remark with the string and ball, Basically he claims that I always want to have control, and a relationship can not be that way - he would rather be with someone that has no career aspirations, won't compete with him, etc. I don't and have never competed with him - I have been a partner who has worked towards a family dream. I guess the dream has turned into a nightmare...
That is when I start to question myself as a woman. Maybe I should've just stepped back and let him be the Controller of the family, have no opinion, no say, no nothing. Just smile and say "Yes Sir".
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Far-Fetched but could this be a side affect?
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