I came here for comfort, but found it wasn't here to find, unless I was willing to change.
This is a very powerful and insightful statement - again Jessho thank you for sharing your thoughts - as always they are motivating and inspiring to open minds.

RE:
I realize now I don't like who I was. Just questioning here - in the guise of "getting curious" with ourselves - and expanding our thoughts and perception.

Like the saying "it is what it is" ....could we also say "we are who we are" .... I can identify and empathize about not liking who I used be .... have had those types of thoughts....
but "if we are who we are" ...did WE change as a person, who we are as a person, OR did we change how we perceive, think, and respond.

Our character traits are what they are - we are who we are..traits and types of personalities are often assigned value generally character traits are often put into categories - good or bad, helpful or unhelpful.

Take the traits of stubbornness and sensitivity - when we think of stubbornness, we automatically assign it with being of negative value ..stubborn people are often seen as awkward, inflexible, and frustrating. Highly sensitive people are often considered wimpy and weak.

I have use trait stubbornness as an example before - my father was generally a mellow and mild mannered man, but he had a stubborn streak. Looked at from a different angle - looking at the usage of this trait and for what purpose can change the value we tend to assign it , it can literally change the definition and the words used to describe this trait - determined, not a quitter, dedicated, valiant. I swear in regard to my fathers stubborn streak was a huge part of why he survived 2 bouts of Hodgkinsons disease and the very unpleasant treatments used to cure his illness.

Highly sensitive people - those who get their feelings easily hurt - are also often highly intuitive, they are understanding and empathetic of others, they are often the healers of others. They are the Mother Theresas, the nurses, the teachers, the therapists that grace the world of caring professions.

Label the action, not the person perhaps is advice and an action we need to be kind enough to also apply to ourselves.

When I was a child, I spake as a child,
I understood as a child, I thought as a child:
but when I became a man, I put away
childish things. For now we see through a
glass, darkly; but then face to face: now
I know in part; but then shall I know even
as also I am known.


Im thinking it would be kinder and more compassionate - to rephrase and replace: I realize now I don't like who I was with something like: I can now see that my old ways of thinking and responding were not helpful to me, my actions and words in the present and now are yielding more benefits

Weve grown maybe - not so much changed intrinsically who we are as people - evolved?
Evolved into an expanded version?

Next bit may be a little sappy, but it what it is
;)
... perhaps we love more now, appreciate things more, perhaps we do things in a more loving way - towards others and self.
*Corny bumper sticker - but I liked it
.something about: At the beginning of the word EVOLUTION is the word love spelled backwards.