From another thread
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Quote:
PERSONAL Boundaries (or limits) are statements about our values and where we stand on issues.


Key word: "we" or better "I". I'm convicted that I'm dangerously close to controling or trying to "fix" my spouce. In working through my own feelings and behaviors I have seen how frustrated I've been that he cant this or won't that. I have to be honest with my self that a part of me hopes that by setting limits it may motivate him for real change or enlightment. BIG MISTAKE!!!!! I'm learning to see it and acknowledge it--yea me!
When you are fairly new to the whole boundary development and implementation its pretty easy to get it all messed up.

I've come to the conclusion not to be a part of the phone call with the pastor. I've decided to let him have a chance to talk to him alone-if he desires. I'm finally starting to get it that I've been more concerned with his journey to wellness than he is. Nothing I say to him won't move him any faster.
In his eyes he is on the road to recovery and getting stronger every day. When I tell him he isn't ready to come home he only hears "how perfect must I be before you'll have me?".

Communicating ones boundaries in a way that reflect our own values takes lots of practice!!