I guess that is it for me, the bond of love, I cannot understand how he can love me and still be doing what he is doing.

I feel also that we are tied that it cannot be broken, it is not common, not easy to find, and not replacable, I just wish he coiuld get better.

For the first time in 6 years I have no idea where he is sleeping at night, what he is doing, where he is, how he is doing and it is killing me. I miss him so much. I cannot give up on the love I feel for him, I cannot let that go.