Quote:
he makes alot of snide remarks to me - he is downright mean and condenscending, and of coarse, I react.


By "react" you mean smile, right?

Try that. Don't say anything in response, just smile a little. In fact, practice not rising to the bait at all.

If you must respond, try one of these:

"I'm going to have to think about that."
"I need a (few) days to give you an answer."
"I'll take that into consideration."
"I'm sorry you feel that way. That doesn't sound pleasant at all."
"I can't answer that right now."
"I have to ask my attorney."

He knows you, he knows what to say, how to say it in order to get a "rise" out of you and he's looking for you to respond in a particular manner. He's READY for THAT response. Don't give it to him. He'll have the home-turf advantage.

It's time for you to learn a whole new way of communicating with him, and the less said by you means the less harm you will give OR receive. There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking your time about answering a question. Particularly if you know that he's not listening, he's already formulated his response. That's not communication, that's something else.

Who knows, maybe it'll improve things between you both.

Good luck!

Ghada