Even though I went out of my way to agree to every demand it didn't stop the anger towards me. I later asked why she was so angry towards me. The response was as expected in that "I needed to raise my anger to get through to you" though I didn't expect "this is what I do to all my significant others".

To remind everyone my relationship was a very happy one where the D and the start of the anger (initially directed elsewhere) actually happened in the middle of preparing a meal. Once the abuse and anger switched to me the continuance of the relationship in its existing form became doomed. I became a stepping stone to recovery.

My thoughts (somewhere above) are from visiting a distant relative monthly over a number of years in the day room of a grade "A" mental hospital. IMO the anger and violence experienced then, is different to the anger experienced in fallout. The anger and snide remarks I experienced seemed to have unusual triggers.

If the anger has suddenly appeared from nowhere the question needs to be asked - why?

There's a way to pinpoint every thought in the brain in relation to time and the thought in the brain of my loved one is the will to re-learn the rules using anger.

Despite my experiences of long ago it was the unprovoked remarks followed by anger that broke my heart. My sympathies are with you and anyone else dealing with such.