That's exactly what I was getting at. It "gets to the point that it becomes verbally abusive." In order for it to get out of hand, though, what is it that happens? If the language is truly degrading and mean-spirited WITHOUT PROVOCATION, then yeah, I would say it was abuse. But if it escalates INTO that, then what's triggering it? It does take two to tango.

Think about your kids for those of you that have them. Does this sound familiar? (if it doesn't whew are you lucky)

"GET OUT OF MY FACE!"
"I'm not in your face."
"You are TOO in my face. NOW BACK OFF!"
"I can get in your face if I want to. It's a free country."
"GET OUT OF MY FACE, OR YOU'RE ASKING FOR IT!"
"You are such a whiny baby."
"AM NOT!"
"Are too. You are always a whiny baby."
"I AM NOT A WHINY BABY AND STOP CALLING ME NAMES AND GET OUT OF MY FACE!"
"Ok, whiny baby, I'm getting out of your face."
"MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now change it to adult words/situations both from the DFO's viewpoint and the Ds viewpoint. I can make a case for either side depending on whether it's the DFO in CAPS or the D in caps.