Thanks Deb, that is kinda how I feel.

Lisa--I agree with you. When I took the job across the state I did it because there was part of me that was like ok, doing this will protect you. And I knew at that point I had to protect myself. I agree that it is better this has happened now rather than after I had not taken the job, was working just being an adjunct, and then have DH fall apart. And yes the space has been the biggest blessing in surprize. I would NEVER have figured any of this stuff out unless I had space. I was so wrapped up in things that I could not see the forest through the trees so to speak. I was letting my DH have all control andd really if I hadn't moved it would still be like that. My DH and I have said multiple times lately, how at first we just looked at me leaving as a way to give him space but that now we have come to realize I needed that space just as much. I needed to come to learn a lot about myself, which I am doing. I think that was also part of my downness(I don't know if that is a word) but I ahve ben working really hard on me and working on me is not always the most pleasant thing, so when you combine it with everything else sometimes it gets overwhelming.

klb--It really sometimes makes no sense. Thanks for the put up. I plan on enjoying the visit. It should be fun.

I really think part of the heart of the whole problem is that it takes time when you move someplace new to establish those friendships in our lives. So I've left friendships and the people who were there for me when things would get stressful, and they haven't been replaced by anything here yet. They are on their way, just not at the same comfort level as my old friendships.