I have wondered the exact same thing a lot lately. For myself, DH has "left" on a number of occasions. These haven't always been him actually physically leaving (a couple have), sometimes they are him just trying to "check out" of the relationship (the "I'm in love with the idea of being in love" line). What have I done? Convinced him to stay or followed him pretty much ever time. Only once did I say good riddance and made him work for it (I was younger and single). And he did, he changed his life (for awhile anyway) and took steps he needed to do to get me back in his life.

I think I have reinforced some (or even a lot) of his behavior letting him know that I still want him and would be willing to stand by him. I don't think he ever did any of it to intentionally hurt me, I'm pretty sure it was always about him and nothing to do with me. I know he plays the passive-aggressive card without knowing he's doing it-he's admitted to it in fact, I do it too. I guess the difference is at some point the people that possess the ability for clear thought and reasonable actions (that's supposed to be the non-D partner...lol) have to say "enough is enough" and stand up for ourselves, come what may.

Unfortunately the number of people who say they are D and then use that for an excuse (look at the disability claims in this country alone, you think all those people really can't work because they are D?) casts a shadow on all those people who truly are incapable of understanding their actions or making rational decisions.

I think you have brought up some great points (and the other posts too) about D and how it relates to society. If my DH, who studied sociology, wasn't in a MDE right now himself, I bet he'd love to discuss it with everyone too...lol