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Posts: 106
Feb 19 08 2:10 PM
BUT I do believe we teach people how to treat us. The fact that our DSOs can interact totally different is proof.
I don't think that there is an easily distinguishable line that separates which behavior is a cause of the D and which behavior is not.
I DO think that when in the situation someone can tell when they are being taken for a ride and when the D person genuinely just can not do something because of their D.
I'm pretty sure it was always about him and nothing to do with me.
In the end if we are together I want it to be what he wants, and if it isn't then I need to know that.
Basically when he is around me he can't pretend he is ok, and I think sometimes that's a lot to handle for him
He does want me around and feels like he needs me but he is so angry at the fact that he feels like he needs me, he gets these conflicted messages and they translate over to me when I let them.
Also I think my DH pushes me away as a form of protecting me. I know he loves me, and in some way he knows what he is doing to me and feels guilty anbout it and he feels he has to save me
He is used to get what he wants when he wants it.
My problem is that I don't want things to be exactly the same. New rules...new conflict....
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