I wonder--would our DSOs be pushing us away if they weren't in some form of denial or were really committed to working toward their wellness?
I wonder that too. That's what I find so frustrating about using techniques from Anne's book, they are all predicated on the DP being fully aware that the depression is causing the problem. Instead my DH has decided to externalise it. It's not me it's the marriage. And he's reached back years to pull things out from our past that didn't bother him enough to say something about it at the time but they sure as heck bother him now and he's using them as an excuse so that he doesn't feel guilty about giving up. And now DH thinks he's fine and has stopped therapy (but still taking his meds).

And all of this has happened since he started taking mediciation ...