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This message board is for the friends and families of people who suffer from a mood disorder.
It is associated with Anne Sheffield and her web site
www.depressionfallout.com
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It's over.
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Re: It's over.
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WhatTheHail
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Feb 20 08 11:46 AM
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FC, I wouldn't be so sure it's over...unless that's what YOU want. Being the eternal optimist that I am (
) I always try to find a positive thing admist a whole heap o'negative. The positive here is that, since you seem to have made up your mind that you cannot go on like this (VERY healthy way of looking at it), you will still be sad, you will still cry, and you will be unhappy for a time, BUT you will not have that agonizing day-to-day endless loop of
"is he going to call today? what if he calls? what if he doesn't call? will he text? will he not? does he love me? does he hate me? why hasn't he figured it ouit yet? IS this my fault? is something wrong with me? what if he's not depressed, and just is not that into me? is that possible? but everything was wonderful and perfect, so I KNOW he loves me, but what if he doesn't".
..blah blah frickety blah. Ad nauseum.
What you effectively have done is give YOURSELF some space and breathing room, not just ackowledge HIS need/request for space. You have taken back some of the power in the whole dynamic. Good on you. It will still hurt, it will still suck, but if you think that he will just walk away clean, you're probably not correct. Not to give you false hope and all, but I have seen it time and time again - when WE (DFOs) break from THEM (our depressed loved ones), they kind of panic a little. You have been his soft place to land for a long time, and now you are taking that away. He'll come knocking. It may not be right away, but he'll come knocking.
And here's a few discussions from the Archives that may help you today:
How Do You Walk Away?
How Can I Miss You if You Don't Go Away
The Endlessness of it All
What Are You Grateful for Today?
I'm not suggesting that you sit around and wait for that day, however. You need to take good care of yourself and your daughter in the meantime. Good luck with the interviews.
DISCLAIMER/WARNING: This is a
PERSONAL OPINION
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