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This message board is for the friends and families of people who suffer from a mood disorder.
It is associated with Anne Sheffield and her web site
www.depressionfallout.com
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would like a reality check from the Senior Class
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Re: would like a reality check from the Senior Class
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bluestar7
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Feb 20 08 10:23 PM
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As others have said, stick to your boundaries. I'd even go one step further and ask him to sign what you put in the email as a contract between the two of you. If he doesn't like it and doesn't think it's fair, that may tell you how committed he is or isn't to making this work versus just getting what he wants when he wants it. My ex was also BP and couldn't accept his diagnosis yet he did take his depression meds and went to therapy for years and years but nothing changed. He was merely going through the motions. He also would agree to things just to placate me with never any intention of following through on those agreements. With the help of a therapist, I drafted a "contract" that spelled out the terms of continuing to work on the marriage - mainly it spelled out what was unacceptable behavior. He fought it but couldn't really argue it wasn't fair; he just didn't like the way it felt. He pushed the boundaries of that contract again and again - much like a spoiled child. If I hadn't had the contract, it would have been difficult to "prove" to him that he had ever agreed to the items spelled out. He had an amazing ability to forget important issues and rewrite history if it cast him in a bad light. (Kinda scary) Eventually I'd had enough and threw in the towel. He knew what buttons of mine to push during that time to really make me feel guilty but it was too late. I'm sorry to say that I haven't missed him once since we split up. It's very sad but any good will I had toward him, he managed to stomp flat.
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