bluestar7 wrote:

So AnnLee, you wouldn't be willing to sign a contract

I said that I might very well sign it but that doesn't mean that on any given day I might not feel like what was in that contract was what was best for me. I would have to do what was best for me because if I am not healthy and content then I couldn't ensure that my SO or family was healthy and content. If someone then waved some piece of paper in my face and told me that even though I felt that what they wanted was wrong for me then I would feel pressured.

that says you will uphold your marriage vows - especially when you are absolutely insistent that you want to stay married? That you won't cheat on your spouse? That you won't go on wild spending sprees and hide bank statements? That you won't subject your family to dangerous situations? That you won't see your pdoc regularly for medication management rather than taking medication that's no longer prescribed for you or going off meds without consulting a pdoc? That you won't seek supportive therapy - especially when you are having difficulty?

Marriage vows wise, if I was telling someone that yes, I was going to uphold my vows and not cheat and alll of that then my word should be good enough because making me sign a piece of paper makes no difference. In the end it's my word that counts. A piece of paper is not going to dictate my actions any more than my vows.

That actually goes for all of the above questions. If I say I am going to do something then making me sign a piece of paper when we are supposed to be married and you're supposed to trust my word only implies, even if they don't mean it to, that to some degree my SO does not trust me. Hence making me feel untrustworthy.

And, the type of therapy was up to you as we both know that if you don't agree with the approach, it's not worth it?

From what I read I believe she stipulated what type of counseling was to be had so I was going off of that stipulation. If she had said "the counseling of your choice" my response would have been different.

You're fortunate that you're very self-aware as not everyone with BP is. My ex was not although he thought he was - especially when he was manic or very depressed.

You're going off of personal experience with your ex as I am going off of personal experience. My response was not to tell her that she was wrong. I actually stated that she is probably doing the right thing for her children. My response was to let her know that it might not be received very well.

If it's been proven that your memory is faulty - e.g. claiming that some of your manic episodes never happened even though they scared you silly afterward, then would you really be adverse to agreeing to a "contract" that says you'll get help if you feel the urge to repeat these behaviors? It's not treating someone like a child, it's asking them to step up, act like an adult and take some responsibility.

People can take responsibility in a number of ways. What i said is that i would feel as if I was being treated like a child. Those would be my feelings whether they are right or wrong they would probably dictate how I reacted and what's wrong for one person may be right for another.

As I said, what is right for her may not be right for him.