ForgotPassword?
Sign Up
Search this Topic:
Forum Jump
Posts: 1587
Feb 23 08 2:58 PM
As for the other issue which has arisen and seemingly effectively got some pants in a bunch - "the contract" issue …..
Isn't there some saying about 'I'm not sure if what you heard I thought I said, was what I meant I said, or that you thought you heard what I meant I thought I said, that you heard me say…"
I have to wonder the word to contract meant different things to different people. Truly a speaker has the responsibility to communicate their message accurately and precisely choosing their words to reflect their meaning and actual message - but in any conversation there is responsibility that lies with the listener - speaker needs to speak well - but a listener needs to listen well - we each have a personal responsibility with incoming information we receive…… firstly, never to shoot the messenger, even unwittingly or unintentionally…. and then to verify what we think we heard - to determine whether clearly defined definitions are shared or not, and we really are all on the same page.
Contract - yes it can be a legal document - can be seen as stipulations - can be seen as being told what to do and when to do and how to do things. But that would depend on the intention, the purpose, and the type of delivery…… AND the words chosen.
Would the reactions and thoughts about 'contract' idea have been so strong or the same if the word was replaced by " written agreement" …. maybe, maybe not. But what if the term 'written plan" or 'joint plan of action' were used. OR Wellness Recovery Action Plan ?
At this point I'd like to repeat One of my pet peeves relating to many issues is the seemingly ever present thinking or attitude of "US" and "THEM", invariably this then morphs into mindsets and feelings of "US" V "THEM. This state of being in my mind is one of the biggest portals for opening up unrealistic expectations, useless comparisons, double standards, and many other forms of faulty thinking.
There is the person with the illness, they needs tools to heal and recover and then to maintain and remain in wellness. Then there is the family and spouse in the fallout of an illness and addiction. Then, there are the torn and broken relationships.
At this point I don't think there is any US or them - just ALL!!! The person with D or mood disorder, those in the fallout, and the relationships ALL need the following things - the methods, the solutions, the support, the tools, the different modes of doing and being..... These are things they could ALL do with: Wellness Tools, Wellness Recovery Action Planning, Relapse Prevention, Crisis Planning, Developing a Strong Support System, Education, Personal Responsibility, Self-Advocacy, Building Self-Esteem, Healing from the Effects of Trauma, and Relieving Loneliness and Worry.
Contract - it is just a word - and very often when we apply a meaning to word - it has to with the ways we are most familiar with the word and how we've experienced it most. The 'contract' idea I feel was meant in the sense of it being a Wellness Recovery Action Plan. It is a tool commonly used in interventions and recovery. There are some very good reasons behind it being written and signed. It might not suit all people - or be the appropriate action - or it could not be the appropriate timing - that doesn't negate or define its value.
Example of things in a Wellness Recovery Action Plan What they need to do every day to stay healthy and well; Things that might upset them and what they can do if these things do happen; Signs that they are not feeling well and things they can do to help themselves feel better; and, Signs that things are going really badly and things they can do to make the situation better.
Wellness Recovery Action Plan
Developing the plan with a supporter, in a group or even as a family increases options and understanding
How much of our own discomfort are we willing to sit with while someone is trying out new choices? How are our boundaries continuously being redefined as we struggle to deepen each individual relationship? What are the assumptions we already hold about this person, by virtue of his/her diagnosis, history, lifestyle? How can we put aside our assumptions and predictions in order to be fully present to the situation and open to the possibility for the other person to do the same? What are the things that might get in the way of both of us stretching and growing?
All quotes I've used come from: Mary Ellen Copeland, she is a mental health recovery educator and author. Her focus is on self-help. She has learned the concepts, skills and strategies she teaches from her own personal experience with extreme mood swings and from her ongoing studies with people who experience psychiatric symptoms. http://www.mentalhealthrecovery.com/
QUOTE : "The most important lesson that I learned from all of this is that in making decisions about me and my life, I first must listen to myself. I must ask myself what I know and feel about myself. Then, if I want to, I can reach out to others for their ideas. As each of them shares their opinion or gives their advice, I can weigh it carefully and see how it resonates with me--does it feel right to me or doesn't it? If it feels right I can do or believe as they suggest. If it doesn't feel right, I don't need to.
You may have received so much advice and been told so many things about yourself over the years that you have no idea how to access your inner knowledge. While it takes time and patience, you can learn, or improve your ability, to listen to yourself and to determine what is best and right for you. Some of the following ideas may be helpful to you. As you work on this, you will discover other ways that help you to know yourself and what you need.
When another person makes a suggestion of something you should do or says something about you, make sure it feels right to you before acting on it. You may ask yourself, is it a "bing" (right) or is it a "thud" (wrong)? If it is about some action, you could write the options on sheets of paper. Shuffle them. Then choose a sheet of paper. By noticing your emotions about what the paper says, you will know whether or not it is the right answer for you.
Educate yourself so that you know all there is to know about the issue or issues at hand. As you learn, make sure what you are learning feels right to you. Remember, just because it is in a book by a prestigious author or is on an internet site does not mean it is right, or that it is right for you. " http://www.mentalhealthrecovery.com/art_expertyou.php
BING or THUD - we own the choice!
Share This