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This message board is for the friends and families of people who suffer from a mood disorder.
It is associated with Anne Sheffield and her web site
www.depressionfallout.com
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Dh planning on returning home at end of week...
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Re: Dh planning on returning home at end of week...
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wasfunonce
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Feb 23 08 6:05 PM
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Yes, he read the email, and surprising enough he said he would comply, and he actually agreed to do the daily mood logs the pdoc and therapist recommended. I have no doubt in his desire to make this work. I know he wants to be a family again. His ability is another story. We've been apart so long (w/the exception of the 2 weeks at Christmas) and he has been outside the "real world" of fatherhood and being a husband again will be challenges.
Lisa, I do want him to come home, and I'm ready to give this a try. I'm a little uneasy as the unknown tends to make me feel that way. I feel some relief that a decision has been made. Where most of my anxieties come from is not having a plan. This goes for most anything in my life. I'm a very flexible person and can adapt if plans need to change. Not having one flips me out!! Does that make sense? Him there with parents and me here is a state of limbo that I'm sick of. Its like the sh**t or get off the pot if you know what I mean.
Yes, I do feel like I've been scrambling around for a defense. Actually the scrambling began last August after the attempt when I told him I no longer felt comfortable having him in the home. The stress was very intense leading up to his attempt, and I couldn't take it anymore. I wish the homecoming could be picture perfect. That's not possible. For my role, I've agreed to work with him to be his partner and meet him halfway. I've agreed to provide support but not be his only support. I've agreed work out solutions together as situations arise. We won't ever know how its going to work out if we don't try. I see couples therapy as a most necessary thing, but that can come later.
He's been on the same med combo since mid October and exercising regularly. One of the biggest indicator that he is moving toward stability is his attitude toward his homecoming has changed. A few months ago he said he needed to come home so we (me and kids) could help him heal. Now, he wants to come home because his children need their father and its not right for a 40 year old man to live with mom and dad. For months the subject of working wasn't even approached. Now he actually is applying and interviewing.
Yes, if he was in the same town (living with parents) and establishing a track record of work and other stability it would have been easier to say ok come home. I do feel he deserve a chance at home. His agreement to the "rules" indicate to me he is willing try to meet me half way too. His intensions are good, I feel. Only time will tell how he can handle life in the American family rat race.
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