I reread your post on #19.

Passivity is indeed his mode of operation during this illness. Depression, Anxiety, even BPII is something that is being done to him almost like an outer body experience. Does that make sense? Ownership of this has been quite a challenge.

Passive aggression ruled conflicts-ranging from no response to putting me on the devensive. That type of interaction took me awhile to identify.-before I would know it I was on the defensive the real matter at hand would get pushed to the side. This communication/conflict style totally was magnified during a mood swing. My reactions and attitudes formed by this is what I've been working on. Old patterns take a while to die away, but I'm committed to changing this in me.