You are on the right way like wasfunonce said already. My partner is in a very very similar situation as you are. I must get him to read your story. Also he is working hard on not attacking me anymore which seems to work better and better. He still gets cold and withdraws himself which is difficult for me..but we and you are on the right path!!!You'll get there if You really want it! Will get Andy to read this the next days and maybe the two of you can talk...waterlilly