Oh Gosh!!! That sounds like You are having a really hard time...and all that after so many years of struggle. I really feel for You when I hear that. I guess Your husband..like many people with depression ..seems to find it difficult to cope with You not being the strong one for a change as you are sick in bed...on the other side he doesn't want you to strong (making acarreer for Yourself )either. He is probably afraid you could be to much seen by others and get to confident to stay with him.... Please get out there!!!!! You deserve much better after all this fighting you did for him!!!! Maybe so when you'll leave he will finally see what he is loosing and stop taking you for granted..... I'm at home with a chest infection for the last 5 days. The first days my DMan was real sweet and suppotiv...bringing me cuppas and dinner to bed...driving me to the doctor...and then suddenly he slipped into a depressive episode and got all negative and cold for the last two days......me being completly restless and real sad since...not helping my recovery from infection at all.... I guess he at least tried and made an efford to be there for me...so in comparison to your husband I guess I am not to bad off....
So hope for You that You will get healthy again and get all your strenghth together and go for the election. It.s your chance to do something for yourself finally. If he loves you he will eventually see and understand....maybe it will be to late for him then to still be part of your life...but as it sounds you have played according to his rules far to long...it is time for You now....maybe he can become part of your life again in a different way one day....once You'll set the rules for a change. Hugs, Waterlilly