A verse in a Jewel song says "no longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from." That doesn't mean don't work on your issues, but it does mean don't focus so intently on one thing to be blind to others. Or, if you are afraid of getting hit by a bus you'll see all of the busses because you're looking for all of the busses. One day, you'll miss the stretch limo full of free PAS. Because you were so worried about the busses, you were focused on only them.

When xdh and I separated, I saw a counselor. She said that sometimes the past will creep in and that's normal. I need to look at it as the boogyman in my closet. It took a bit of time to truly recognize when it is me and my past as opposed to a real problem/concern. So, whenever I recognize that my mind or emotions are creeping in because of residual fallout, I just sing the "I'm Your Boogeyman" song from the 70s. Then I relax and can focus on what the real issues are, or aren't. I used to sing that song often. Now, it's on occasion, maybe a couple of times a year. Practice makes perfect!

Re: the weekend....

Too much detail from a guy about this kind of situation makes you wonder if he spent too much time thinking up all aspects of an alibi. Too little detail would have meant to you he was hiding something as well. You won't get what you want to hear in the way you want it. Look at the whole person from how he talks about work, life, the movies, and the grocery store to learn how he communicates. If you need something different communication wise express the need and see if there is a compromise somewhere. If not and it isn't a dealbreaker then learn to deal with it. If it is a dealbreaker let him know that and if there still is no compromise then you know what you need to do.

I think that your issues might be clouding things. You can believe what he says about the weekend or tell him you are having trouble with it and ask to talk about it. If you choose to believe him then act like you do and let it go. If you are having trouble with it and he agrees to talk then express your feelings and admit your quirks without accusing him of doing anything and listen to him as well. Then let it go.

BTW, this week is the week, or month of the resurfacing of old bf. Recent xbf (Columbus guy) emailed me earlier this week. Xbf before this (philosophy prof I dated for 2 years) I saw yesterday at the bookstore. First time in almost two years (the day we broke up). I am still not over that relationship completely (we did want to marry one another) so need a little time before I am not feeling emotional about seeing him. Fortunately there has only been 2 bf since xdh and I divorced. However, this may also mean that I will see xdh soon if the universe's plan is a "this is your life...past bf and xdh" for me. lol.

I'm your boogeyman...that's what I am. And I'm here to do, whatever I can. Be it early mornin, late afternoon. Or at midnight, it's never to soon...... image

"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten."