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This message board is for the friends and families of people who suffer from a mood disorder.
It is associated with Anne Sheffield and her web site
www.depressionfallout.com
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Depression and sex
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Re: Depression and sex
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hiker
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Mar 2 09 6:49 AM
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Rico - If you go back and read the responses people have given you to this post and your other post - I think you will see people are saying that your focus should be on yourself at this point in time. You are the only person you can control and you are the only one that can change things for the better in your life. Over-analysis of every little exchange and event that happened with ex-dbf isn't a helpful exercise. All relationships have their ups and downs regardless of whether the partner has d or not. We are all human with different quirks, personalities and tempaments. It is too easy to blame d for everything that went wrong in the relationship and absolve ourselves of any active part in the demise. Sometimes specific things that happen have nothing to do with d and everything to do with both of your personalities, the communication dynamic between you, being long distance, wrong timing, youth and inexperience with other serious relationships and... a million other possible reasons ..... sometimes there is no explanation.. a relationship can just run its natural course and come to an ending with much fanfare.
As for this specific question - With my ex-dbf there absolutely no change in desire when we were together. Sex was great. The issue was that he would disappear for weeks at a time with no contact (the longest was 2 mths) - during those periods of time there obviously was no sex but did he disappear because of that - no. He was in the middle of a massive MDE and couldn't handle the pressure of the relationship (ie: feeling guilty because of how he was disappointing me, feeling obligated to contact me, unable to accept affection and love from me because he had nothing to give back...)
The two examples you gave ("this would be a good position to try...") did not strike me as odd behaviour at all. It is something every boyfriend/partner has said to me. I think the question is the CONTEXT. I personally don't see anything wrong with flirty, suggestive banter between a couple but I felt completely safe at the time it was being said. I wasn't being called names, belittled, forced or threatened. It was all in good fun and never once felt that I couldn't say no and have that decision respected. Hiker.
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