Thanks, Hiker.

I know you are right in that some relationships just run through and because the two people involved are incompatible, things don't work out.

What I do know is that whatever he is going through did not HELP our relationship, and it was very strange to battle the let's-have-kids/let's-break-up duality.

I am focusing on myself! I am trying, rather, but it is difficult because I think this relationship became rather abusive as I plunged into fallout.

Re: sex - all this banter was nothing like anything that has ever been said to me before. My ex knew my personal history and was aware that those kinds of comments were not enticing for me. There were no threats but a lingering impression that he would be unhappy enough to leave unless I gave him what he needed, and I wasn't ready to do so at the time.