I know that with my exbph leaving.. I learnt how to be ME..
Of course I didnt want my marriage to breakdown... BUT now.. five years on.. I can sit back and see how good it has been for me..
I am more independent ... I now know how to support myself financially... I can do alot of things I never knew how to do before.. which is a really good feeling..
I do see that I was lost within my marriage... ( I allowed that to happen.. not him) I depended on HIM more than I should have... because it was 'easier' than putting myself OUT there..

I sometimes wonder.. IF because we depend so much on our DSOs that .. that just adds alot more pressure to their pot that is almost bubbling over anyway... (Yes I know that a marriage is a marriage.. and we should be able to depend.. rely.. on that other person etc)
Sometimes I see that my depending on my exbph was too much for him to carry especially when he got sicker(not saying that I was the cause of his illness.. because we know that isnt true... we do not cause these illness's.. but definetely was more pressure on him to HAVE me depending on him.. financially and in other ways).

Im not who I used to be .... thats for sure..
this version of me.. is a much better person..

Ange

Take  what  you  need . . .  leave  the  rest .Blue_butterfly