Mood disorders have such horrible effects, I think we forget how to find the simple things that give us joy. With me, it took a concentrated effort to be happy, and it wasn't easy. In a way, I wasted a lot of years of my life, which should be despairing. I don't like thinking I'm somehow too damaged. I'd rather think the unique events of my life have made me special, and I'm blessed to have my past as a reference to be better and stronger.