I suggest telling him that you would like to talk to him and ask when would be a good time for him. That way, it will not be an emotional reaction and he will feel in control and not ambushed. When you do talk to him, do not get emotional. Tell him that you are concerned about him and ask him to see his doctor. You do not even have to mention d...you can approach it from any physical symptoms that may be present. The quickest way for him to get out of his "bad place" is to seek help, either talk therapy or drugs. I think it would be good "to tell him that I love him and wish there was something I could do to make him to not feel bad." In the meantime, reading Anne's book will be helpful. Also, make sure you do not take anything he says personally during his d and make sure you do not lose yourself in his d. You also need to find something that will make you happy, make you laugh. As far as your daughter goes, I'm not sure what to tell you. Try to explain his d and his behavior to her in a way that she can understand. My daughters are 12 and 13 now. I explain their Daddy's d to them in a way that they will understand. I do not remember what I told them at that age...that seems like forever ago. Good luck.