They are 14 and 12.

Thank you for the link, but that is a good example of why I couldn't find any local counsel or psychiatric support and why we struggled for years without help. It's generic. The analysis approach can label the difficulty with a hundred different ailments. Depression and DF is very specific, or at least in my experience.

We talked to several psychiatrists and psychologists and none of them identified depression. One identified our difficulty as a marital problem stating that we needed to find sobriety and religion (and basically turn ourselves into a flannel wearing, pleated skirt couple from the 50's. That's not us!!) Another labeled it as an ADHD problem, another as a PMS imbalance.

I gave up looking for help (until I found this site) because it was like looking for a needle in a hay stack. Whatever was the counsel's idea of the day became the problem.

Anne's book nailed it.

My question still stands. How do I help my kids?