My daughters are 12 and 13. My husband has never been physical with me or my daughters and is not suicidal or bi-polar so I do not have to deal with those issues. He does get very angry and withdrawn during his d. I have told them that their Daddy has d and he is seeing the doctor trying to get better. I also explain he is taking medicine for his d, just like they do when they are sick. I tell him that his d makes him angry, grumpy, and makes him do things that he would not normally do. I treat and explain his d just as I explain his Diabetes. I give them as much factual info as I think that they can understand but not scare them.

I told him that his d makes it hard for him to control what he does and says at times. I tell them that if he didn't have his d, he would never do some of these things. I also stress that it is not their fault; it is all his issue. I explain that they do not have d; they can control their behavior. When he does apologize, I ask that they try to be understanding and patient with him. I tell them that his d does not excuse his behavior, but it does help explain it. As he is starting to get better, he is very good about apologizing to them when he calms down if he does have an outburst. He tells them that he loves him, he shouldn't act that way, he apologizes for his behavior, tells them that he is seeing the doctor and trying to get better, and most of all makes sure they know his behavior has nothing to do with them...pretty much what I do for him when he can't. You have already done these same things...but just in case, I thought I'd reply.