hello there,
You say she is on medication...um, what kind and for what?
If others have not called it Depression? Who has prescribed what Rx for what diagnosis?
Is sobriety a problem? Since it was mentioned, needed to ask?
Are you in therapy? For your own issues? As well as relationship ones? And, no, not
everyone knows DF...think of it as depression from a depressive...they might get it then.
Everyone has issues...that may hurt how they are doing in a relationship with their work, kids, spouse...
that is why seeing your own therapist is crucial...as well as in coping with the stress of dealing with
a depressed, if that is what she is diagnosed, spouse.

Alot of what we do is enable...enable them to behave negatively towards us...and just when we
change the rules, which we had a part making, all hell breaks loose. The paradigm has changed,
and change is not well tolerated...it is frightening. So, you've made boundaries. Fantastic. That is one
of the hardest things to do...next would be to learn to not take what she says or does personally...harder yet.
because what she is doing is acting out from pain and hurt. So, taking it personally, feeling it is all you, when
the world really doesn't revolve around you...and she was hurt long before you...and you just happen to be here when
her world falls apart...well...just lucky you...same with the kids...it isn't them...it is what is going on with mom...and her own
inner turmoil.
Depression may make it hard to control what we do and say at times....but, we are still aware and to some degree responsible.
We shouldn't be allowed to get 'away' with it just because we have 'depression'...and apologies are great...but, if there is no sign
of an active attempt to change that 'habit'...then wonder if the apologies are genuine.

I Became Insane
With Horrible
Intervals of Sanity

E.A. Poe