hey everyone,
as far as the thread that i started, i found out a week ago... that for the last five months- i was completely wrong and my ex had been lying to me from the minute he got weird and wanted to end the relationship. at this point, i can't even believe anything my ex said to me in last 5-6 months because he got into a relationship days after breaking up with me, with the colleague i had suspected him of being so dishonest about when they were "friends". unfortunately or fortunately a friend confirmed to me what i had suspected because of course, my ex would never ever own up to his actions. he stopped caring and considered me dead to him months ago!
so all my unanswered questions are answered about his actions and behavior in the last five months. i'm shocked and devastated because i had hoped that somehow he was depressed and that he was a better person than what his actions are showing, but this does explain this sudden disappearance of his 3 year love for me so out of the blue! Obviously it hurts to know how much I must have been lied to prior to this, but- I'm not even ready to deal with that yet. The worst is the lies to my face when he saw me, about "needing to be single and alone" and "not being able to love anyone right now, or maybe ever", and that he even made such a a big point of how much i hurt him when i accused him of being in a relationship. talk about ways to really manipulate and hurt someone you supposedly loved...!
i'd like to meet the girl who could date someone who treats people this badly... but, clearly he's a great liar... amazing really.

the positive is that it quiets a lot of anxiety and gives me closure and understanding that i never got before for how he broke up with me- but man, it shatters everything i believed about this guy, our relationship, our love... all those things. people change... but, people changing into complete assholes... is really hard for the heart to reconcile with.