Ok, along those same lines, when an addiction is in full fledged involvement as well, any suggestions for chess moves? I actually think he would take action on the counseling if he wasn't so afraid that he would be advised to stop gambling. He is living at his parents, and we have little reason for contact although we live in a small town so there is info going back and forth on who is doing what. Then with things like the occasional mail, do I drop it off at his work or do I ask him to come here and get it? I have been assuming that giving him his space means not contacting him at all, and assumed that if he came here to the house he abandoned he would feel more depressed--but maybe I should ask him to stop by to help facilitate a reconnection? Otherwise the only reconnection he has shown any interest in is in regards to sex; but not affection.