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This message board is for the friends and families of people who suffer from a mood disorder.
It is associated with Anne Sheffield and her web site
www.depressionfallout.com
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Re: Need quick advice
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Ange1961
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Oct 18 10 5:29 PM
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Shattered...
the thing that is happening here .. is that you are BUYING into HIS crap... you are believing his irrational talk..
by all means feel free .. and beat yourself up accordingly!
When he is feeling the way he feels right now... the list will be endless...
my exbph had his list.. his list on me and what I should or could have been doing differently... or the things he just couldnt put up wtih any longer...
SO... I took the top thing on his list.. (not enough sex) and I changed that... I started initiating... we started having more sex..
the next thing was .. he didnt like i was overweight... so i dieted.. lost some weight...
the next thing .. was he felt i was messy... so i started being tidier..
WITH every thing I changed... or worked on ... he added another thing to the list... the list never got shorter... it never got shorter because HE NEEDED there to be a list... he needed reasons .. (even irrational ones) to blame me.. to make it about me...
smart people GET that when someone in Depression starts with a list.. and starts to blame... that its NOT ABOUT THEM... and they dont take the depressed persons crap personally!!
get smart ... and dont take it personally... THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT ..
its about him.. not you ..
write that out 1000 times .. until you believe it!
stay strong
huggs
ange
Take what you need . . . leave the rest .
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