Ange, I don't see how you can even say that your marriage was toxic when you pushed. What else could you have done? You someone hurting and you want to help. So you do what you are capable of doing. Short of being a trained psychiatrist there was nothing different you could have done.

Ofcourse I am speaking to myself too. I couldn't have done anything different because I had my own limitations and I tried as hard as I could to save us and with more time and effort on his part I still believe we could be great. But I didn't know what was going on and I behaved the only way I knew how. Don't we all?