My DH and I have always been very open with our sex life. We have watched adult videos together, read erotica to eachother, and have a box of toys. When done together, it can add a whole new level to the sexual relationship. We have even shared our fantasies with eachother. I have always loved that we could be so open with eachother and share such private things.

After the affair, I found dvd's and a huge file folder full of printed internet porn in his work bag. There were easily 500 pictures if not more. He told me he had had them in there since his old job and forgot they were there. So, he had been walking around everyday, for at least 3 years, with them in his bag. What bothered me most about all that was his need to hide it from me when I was very open about all that. So to me it was just another betrayal. It also just felt very sick to me. I now am so disgusted by any form of porn and have become more sexually prudish. All forms of porn and toys were thrown out.

I am glad to know that it was not just my DH that was doing these things. Makes me feel less grossed out...but only a little less.